Finding Comfort

Losing a loved one is never easy. It hurts. It scars. In Augustine's Confessions, he tells us of his loves, both material and spiritual, and losses. He has an intense attachment to his best friend, at one point he even claims to be "utterly lost without him," and a deep, respectful love for his mother. Unfortunately, he loses them both before their time. His responses to the partings are as different as the relationships they affect and are very telling of his condition in each specific time in his life. By examining Augustine's response to the death of his friend versus the death of his mother, we can see how completely knowing God changed his life and how it could change ours.
Augustine's dealings with the tragedies in his life are prime examples of the transformation that comes from having a personal relationship with God. The death of his friend incites bitterness, confusion and hopelessness. He is so consumed by grief that it forces him to leave his hometown. He describes himself as in possesion of a "bruised and bleeding" soul. He searches for comfort in surviving friends, books and "delusions," but nothing can alleviate his pain. Quite conversely, the death of his mother finds him accepting, though still sorrowful, and grateful. He is "comforted" by the "devoted love" she had shown for God throughout her life. He will miss her dearly, but he knows that this is not so much an "extinction" as an absence. He heals from these wounds more quickly than those caused by his friend's death and learns from his mother's example. Two people whom he loved fiercely, yet the death of one elicits suffering and the other enlightenment. What is the difference? It is simple: God.
Augustine cannot cope with losing his friend because he does not understand human mortality or have a hope of future life with God through Christ. What is lost to him now seems to be lost forever. He suffers so deeply, and has no place where his "heart could find refuge from it self." Death is scary and eternal and unjust before he converts. When his mother dies, after his conversion, he is grieved, yes. And yes, he is sorrowful, but he is never hopeless. He trusts in God. He knows that his mother has gone to be with Him, and that one day, he will see her again. He doesn't waste time searching for earthly reliefs, nor does he have the need to project his feelings on anything undeservedly. Because he can bring everything before God, he deals with his mother's death in a healthy, efficient way.
All who believe in God can have this hope, because God is hope and love and goodness and magnificence. He drives away the darkness that is death and replaces it with the Light of Life in the form of His Son the Christ. He changes lives everyday; will you let yours be one of them?